Compassionate Theory of Everything, My Experiences

The Bad Boy Jerkface

He will never hand you the TV remote. He will not falter, doubt, waver, or consider your feelings. He will click and what he wants will happen. He does not care what you want. He does not care what you feel. He does not care what you experience.

He creates his own experience.

He will not hand you the remote, because “what you think you want to see” has nothing to do with him. And in truth, it would not interest you. What he wants, is something you hadn’t considered. Something you were afraid to consider. In truth, it scares you, and it would be a lot more fun. But he isn’t aware of any of that process, either.

He creates experience he wants.

If you add to his experience, you’re part of his creation. He allows you to come along for the ride. You sit behind and clutch your arms around him, head down as he speeds down the road.

There is nothing about his disregard, his lack-of-care for your feelings, that is inherently sexy. Just as there is nothing inherently sexy about a woman’s nightgown. She has vulnerable parts draped only by a smooth, delicate surface, and those parts are inherently sexy. The satin and lace just let you know those parts are there and accessible.

A man creates experience. A woman is experience.

A bad boy will cause you pleasure. A bad boy will cause you pain. He will not falter. He will create pleasure and pain for you. Given the choice between the two, a woman will always choose this:

To feel.

Does a bad boy know this? Does he know of your choice, that choice above all others? Does he know that your want to feel, is your birthright as woman?

He doesn’t know about such things. He doesn’t need to know anything. His engine rumbles, and thoughts of pistons don’t help it rattle your insides.

If he were to know about your insides, he might consider them. And in considering, he might doubt. Which would lead to wavering, and faltering.

Will what he wants, hurt you? He tries considering. Does he still want it? He doubts. His pistons firing in opposing directions, he stalls, and falls quiet. Inert. In the silence, he offers you the remote.

Which you take, and leave him in the dust.




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