Movie Rants

Eddie Murphy Please Come Back to Us

You can wear your red leather outfit or the blue one if you want

Eddie Murphy, you have not aged since 1983. You appear perfectly capable of doing anything now that you were capable of doing then.

“Delirious” was your live-wire peak, and we got to see you onstage plugged into the 240v dryer plug. This standup comedy performance was so funny that you waited until 2007 to release it on DVD (that’s okay, I had a copy off laserdisc.)

Apparently, you were going through a “family friendly” phase when DVDs came out – and didn’t release your VERY BEST STANDUP PERFORMANCE in a digital format for a decade. Was it because of your poopmouth?

You had many ways of entertaining us in “Beverly Hills Cop” and “Trading Places” aside from cursing.

Why did you do bad movies for so many decades? Maybe you knew that VHS and laserdisc were the only formats with enough room to contain BOTH your comedic talent AND a watchable film.

So you gave us “Tower Heist” and “Bowfinger” and “Showtime” for the DVD and Blu-Ray era, because that’s all that would fit on a tiny disc.

The physical media formats have now all faded away, and video streams on the broadest of bands wrapping the globe. So you can stop biding your time and start “paying attention to what movie you choose to be in” again.

Give us sequels if you wish – but make sure the people who write and direct them do their jobs, too. We will watch you in a “Coming to America” sequel, despite “Vampire in Brooklyn.” We will open our arms and welcome a “Beverly Hills Cop 4,” despite “Beverly Hills Cop 3.”

America is ready for you to be funny again.


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